Round 3 2019 Report

The first home game of the season is always an occasion to celebrate and with the return of favourite son P May and the debuts of an even favouriter sons in R Gopinath and C Laverick, the Dockers were intent on doing so against Dresden and Rhineland. The three-way match-day was spiced up even further with news coach P Richter (Dresden Wolves) and premier Brown-noser H Wyatt (Rheinland Lions) amongst others agreeing to join opposition sides for the day in oder to boost and even numbers. Sources claim Richter-the in form player of AFLG, departed an unofficial club function the day before the game threatening to inflict severe friendly fire upon anyone – player or spectator – who stood in his way. Whilst the overall results might have interested your average onlooker, switched on punters knew the true entertainment would be found by analyzing the Richter V Wyatt match-up, as well as keeping track of P May’s ranking points (presumably on a super computer*). S Gilbo Gilbert also made his opening appearance of 2019 having returned from self-inflicted exile in and around the wider Perth area.

But it was the Dockers and the Wolves who started the proceedings and Gilbert had no trouble finding the ball…ok, so he was a tad rusty, but his mits found leather. F Nauman carried far less rust – dominating his ruck battle and cleaning up around the ground with a few brilliant goals from difficult positions. Both, as well as the majority of their Dockers teammates could have added many more, particularly in the second half, had it not been for disparaging inaccuracy in front of goal.

But with Big Dog P May warming up on the sidelines for his encounter with the Lions in game 2, perhaps Dockers players’ attentions were elsewhere. May’s chance game with the opening bounce of the second game of the afternoon against Wyatt’s Lions and the reigning best and fairest wasted no time in giving the crowd what they wanted to see.
He kicked the Dockers opening 5 goals of the game and appeared set to outdo H Thring’s remarkable 9-goal round-one haul. He may well have done, had it not been for some dubious goal umpiring by H Thring. What goes around in AFLG comes around though, and Thring rolled his ankle while signalling a major, completing the hallowed arm movements facedown on the turf.
Ok, so P May was running around doing almost whatever he wanted, when a gift fell from the sky into the arms of 8MB R GOPINATH. The cult figure slotted his first goal in the purple jumper and although his teammates rejoiced, there was a certain dissatisfaction rippling across Ram’s face – he was quite capable of winning his own ball and kicking his own goals. Sure, he’d take the gimme, but this man appeared destined for bigger things.

He was.

It’s the second half now and R Gopinath finds himself in relatively open space about 25m out on a 45 degree angle. He’s clear but an opposition player is closing in fast on his left. With an ease and confidence that suggested he’d mastered Australian football at age 8, Ram sold that player enough candy to keep him going until October then cooly nailed his true debut goal.
In between the Ram-Show, another first gamer slotted his first goal in purple as C Laverick kicked truly from 30m out.

Richter V Wyatt: It was too difficult to keep track of anything after Gopinath’s effort, so this score will have to be settled on the cricket pitch at some point soon.


Thank you to both teams for traveling up and across to Hamburg, we hoped you enjoyed your stay!

*The joke being, a normal calculator would be unable to tally such enormous points. And forget about trying to count on your fingers – the dude was in beast mode from start to finish.

– An Interested Observer
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